About this Course
My kids went to school and I went to work, and these two couldn’t have happened separately, and neither could have happened without the freedom to fail; there’s and mine. I have recently come to know and believe in this new freedom. It has changed my daily life, along with my kids’.
It allows the opportunity for learning and growth through trial and error and pushing through mistakes (often the best way to learn). It clips the chains of anxiety that comes from striving for perfection…the perceived inability to fail. I didn’t realize until now that most of us need to be given this freedom and permission; like that door has to be opened for us or we would otherwise never enter into it.
Once we can embrace this new mindset for ourselves, we are then able to extend this freedom to those around us, especially our spouse and children. I have come to believe that it is crucial to send kids into their day knowing they’re going to make mistakes and will learn from them, as opposed to expecting them to get it all right, and the disappointment and discouragement that mindset brings.
If we can extend this grace, mercy, and humility to ourselves, it becomes easier to offer it to those we love. I do think there are a good bit of us who arrive at each day trying to hold it all up without faults, without mistakes, without failure because we don’t know of any other way, and it only leads to exhaustion, anxiety, disappointment, bitterness, and fear.
We need to be given the freedom to fail, because the learning and growth and courage that happens during the rise after the fall is immense. It’s the real goal. But without the permission to fall, we can remain stuck and paralyzed, not knowing how to get from here to there.
The failure, the mistake, is the bridge. If we’re willing to get to the other side, we will learn something new.
I have a map now, and there are three guide posts on it: baby steps, good enough, and freedom to fail.Taking baby steps (consistent, constant, small daily steps in a long direction) has without a doubt given me more momentum than making one big leap once or twice. Showing up and letting everything just be good enough has made my life richer and fuller, like dark nutrient filled soil. No more waiting for things to become good enough…they already are. And the freedom to fail has allowed me the opportunity to enter into this whole new realm of life that I never knew was there.
It feels so, so, normal! I can breathe, I can think. (I realize I need to be careful that these statements can be taken out of context…I am not advocating a careless promiscuous lifestyle. I am not advocating a permission to do whatever you want especially if it’s illegal or unethical.) I am speaking from the context of soul work…daily life…goals, dreams, work, relationships, self care. I am speaking about the freedom from holding up the world for others; the freedom to finally do that big thing you’ve been dreaming of; and ultimately the freedom to forgive yourself and the acknowledgment that perfection is impossible and daily mistakes are normal.
Most people may already know this…but some of us (maybe it’s a personality thing, or part of our family of origin story) but some of us need to actually, literally, out loud, and in writing, be given this freedom to make mistakes.
To pop the balloon of expectation and come out from under all that pressure. The pressure to please, the pressure to perform, the pressure to uphold, the pressure to be right, and the pressure to know what to do when we really don’t know. And not only do we have to acknowledge this for ourselves, but for everyone around us. Our kids need to know that we aren’t expecting flawless days at school; we are expecting mistakes, consequences, learning, growth.
I was so inspired by my kids’ 8th grade teacher at orientation last night. She said, “I will never apologize for being hard; I will never apologize for raising the bar up to here. Parents, please let them struggle and fail and get it wrong until they learn how to get it right, because when they rise, and they will rise, it will be up here, and I will help them get there.”
I start my days differently now. Instead of saying “how can I make this day right,” I say “I wonder what mistakes I will learn from today.” To acknowledge my need for growth and learning through trial and error has been the most merciful thing I have done for myself.
So I hope you enjoy this mini class. It’s just a little imperfect video of me talking to you, glitches and all. Maybe it’ll grow, but right now I’m letting it just be good enough.
About the instructor
Art has always been a part of her life, and she has always loved making things. Her favorite thing to create is space and atmosphere. Her degree is an arts & humanities concentration, so she also really enjoy learning about how art affects people, and what we are all capable of doing given the opportunity to use our God-given talents.
Update: Courtney closed her shop this spring and lived out the Freedom to Fail in a big beautiful adventure and doesn't regret one minute of it!
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